Those who you who know my brother and me very well, will know that the both of us enjoy a very very good laugh :) We're the clowns in our gaming community and always see the lighter side of things. Gaming isn't something serius for us but having good fun is.
And so the following is a very fictional tale inspired during one of our light hearted drinks. Please read it with a bag of salt and a bag sugar and some weed for good measure. Most importantly i hope it makes you smile :)
After finally completing my angels sanguine army i reckon i deserve to fool around a bit. Beware this will be a very very long post!!! )
Know Yourself and know Yourself some more then you will win all battles - unnamed master strategist, 40th millennium.
I had just completed my Angels Sanguine army and was contemplating who i should play with first. Naturally, i wanted to win the first game. Don't we all when fielding our new army for the first time? So i made a mental list of all the players in our gaming community that i would inevitably play against using this new army. For ease of typing, i will from now abbreviate my Angels Sanguine 1750 list as 'ASS'.
As much as i wanted to win the first game using my ASS i didn't want to go up against an unworthy opponent. I wanted someone who will test my strategic capabilities to the fullest but not so much that there was a possibility of me actually losing the game...A loss or a draw would not be a good start for my ASS.
After contemplating the tactical prowess of all the players, i decided that the most worthy opponent would be the Lord Inquisitor Arzmi with his uber melted cheese topped with grated cheese grey knights list. I had never lost to this list using my saim-hann warhost so it was the most logical option.
As i was devising my battle plans against him late in bed one night...a thought struck me...Eureka!!!
Who is my worst enemy??
Who could make costly mistakes that would eventually make me win or lose a game??
ME!!! I am my own worst enemy!!!
If i could not beat myself at 40k then what chance would i have of beating others???
Why didn't i think of this before.....borderline genius huh :)
Inspired i woke up from bed. The clock was 3.30am. I kissed my better half and told her i will be going downstairs to playtest my ASS against my saim-hann warhost. Used to my eccentricities, she wished me luck.
I got my armies and headed downstairs. I set up the table with randomly placed terrain so i wouldn't have any unfair tactical advantage over myself.
Yes, this is my gaming table at home. I know, i'm a lucky basket (please remember that this is a fictional tale)
Putting on my game face, i got ready to lock horns with myself!!
I rolled for mission and myself rolled for deployment. I rolled annihilation and myself rolled pitched battle. Muahahahaha....myself had no chance. I am the master of trashing, the king of TA. You iz going down myself!!!
Myself made the mistake of deploying too near the center.
I managed to seize initiative and proceeded to show myself the true power of the dark side.
Storm raven Invigilus takes down a serpent and fire prism!!! Hail the glory of the machine spirit. Die you xenos scum!!!
Precision deep striking kills off all dire avengers from the serpent.
The Death Company led by Chaplain Lemarters and joined by brother Brutus, the bad ass dreadnought, deploys from the raven and assaults the legendary jetbike seer council squad trying to run away. All xenos dies a horrible death and their spirit stones crushed.
After getting their serpent blown to bits, Eldard and his banshee harem are fired upon by squad odysseus then assaulted by vanguard vets squad Aquilon. None survived..
I don't want to bore you with details but suffice to say i managed to TA(Totally Annihilated) myself by end of Turn 2.
1. It was a real challenge playing against myself as every move i made was anticipated by myself!!! As much as i tried to trick/confuse myself with my tactics, myself was able to see right thought it and was not easily duped. Just how myself managed to do that confounds me. Myself really is a good player. I'll give myself that.
2. I do not believe in RAW or RAI. I believe in RAIBM. Rules As Interpreted By Me. I know the rules and how it should be played so don't go anyone be arguing with me about rules. The only reason i make posts in gaming forums is to get others to agree to my views. Most threads will end up in a very long and exhaustively winded argument about how the rules should be played, what's fair what's not, what's logical what's not ...but in the end they all agree with my interpretation.
Like i said, I don't want clarification as i already know how the rules should be played. I just want them to agree to my views. Period!
So imagine the difficulty i had playing against myself!!! After several heated arguments about rules interpretation which almost ended up in a fist fight against myself, we decided to roll for it. True enough, i won all the rolls. Take that myself!!! In your face!!!
3. I truly enjoyed playing against myself. Being ultra competitive and not willing to give any grounds, myself provided me with the best challenge yet. I must admit that this was the hardest game of 40k i've played in my entire life. So victory against myself was even sweeter :)
4. It was a super fun game with laughs all around. At the end i gave myself full marks for sportsmanship in the after-match results form. Myself was generous in defeat and gave me full sportsmanship and painting score. You're just too kind :)
If you haven't tried playing against yourself, i seriously recommend that you give it a try. It is crazy awesome!!!
We ended play at 4.30am and had a quiet discussion on the game over a hot cup of chocolate.
So my ASS record currently stands at 1-0-0 (W-L-D). Yes!!!!! FIST PUMP!!!!
I smiled with the knowledge that i have beaten my worse enemy and am ready to conquer the world.
Myself has even asked me for a re-match. I'm really looking forward to that :)
(This story has no relationship with any persons living or departed. It is a fictional work meant to be seen through a humorous viewpoint)
Dedicated to my bro Arzmi. This one's for u broski ;) !!
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